The boys return to find their absence has had an affect on trade...

Well, there you are, we're all back safe and sound (in body if not in mind... our brains were addled long since by too many JagerBombs). Our last morning in San Francisco included a very pleasant Guiness breakfast in an Irish bar where we were creased up by the jokes of a chappy from Armagh we chatted to. The flight home was long and very smelly, so much so that the BA cabin staff had to put air freshener into the air conditioning. Bertie managed lose his van in an empty Heathrow car park but otherwise the trip home was one of reflection and looking forward to seeing those we'd left behind.

It seemed appropriate to end where we'd started but imagine our shock as we arrived back at the Lion to find the notice as shown in the photo attached to the door. It turned out to be a jolly jape on the part of St Terence (very funny...) and we were soon enjoying our first decent beer for two weeks. It's been a wonderful experience to go away and do what we've done but it ain't half nice to be back home and it was great to see everyone.

Observations about America - we all had preconceived ideas about what the yanks are like, most of them not too positive. Americans are all too conscious of the way the world perceives them but in reality we found everyone we came into contact with (maybe with the exception of the sarcastic night manager of the Monterey Travelodge) to be polite, welcoming and genuinely friendly. The United States is a huge place, our tour really only scratched the surface of a country which has so many contrasts both in terms of its people and the land itself which is beautiful and astounding in so many different ways. Our experience has left us all with a desire to return there and we'd recommend anyone who gets the chance to do so too.

A few tour statistics for those interested in numbers...

Miles travelled - 2655
Miles travelled collectively -15930
Average speed (includes several hours on tickover while we conferred over directions, waited for Chris to get off the bloody phone or waited for Neil) - 54.1mph
Maximum speed achieved - 125mph
US gallons of fuel used (at $3.00 a gallon! ...take heed Gordon Brown you greedy b*****d) - 398
Times lost en route - too many to mention
Number of speeding fines - 2
Accidents - 0
Bikes dropped - 0
Average Pants worn (please note this average has been severely downwardly affected due to Tony's individual score of 1) - 6
Estimated number of units of alcohol consumed - 1350
Estimated number of cigarettes chuffed - 1200
Estimated number of cigarettes of dubious origin - 2
Average weight gained - don't ask
Average cost of phone calls (figures distorted due to C Colder) - will have to wait nervously for the bill

Unforgettable memories - too many to calculate

Thanks to everyone who's either commented or followed the blog. It's been fun writing it, I hope it's given y'all a few laughs along the way.

The Red Lion Bikers will next be touring... to be confirmed